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Sharing about My Family

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My family is a bit complicated. My late grandma is actually not my grandma and my late dad is not close to her. Here's some background based on what I have gathered in the past. The family members hardly share about our past.

My mum is the adopted daughter of my grandma. My grandma, though married, is childless. Her husband died during WW2. I heard it is due to hunger. My dad somehow came into this family for reasons I do not know. So my dad and mum got married. Again, since the day I understand things, my dad and grandma did not talk to each other at all, though living under the same roof. My dad actually bought my real grandma (his real mum) to this house once when I was young (probably 12-13 years old) once. I can't remember the details though real grandma looks "modern" in dressing. I also heard that dad has a younger brother, with two kids. The latter also came to the house once. I remembered they bought an electronic car set with tracks for me. It is possibly very expensive in the past. Based on what I have heard, uncle worked as a security guard in his later years.

To be frank, I do not know whether it is good to know what has happened in the past. For one, grandma treated me very well. She will always give me some little money (usually about fifty cents or so) for my expense during my university days. I am actually very broke during that time (I remember once I have only five cents). Because for dignity reasons, I do not work part-time. My sisters helped me a lot during these days. One of them sponsored my school fees and the other two gave me pocket money.

My regret is possibly not spending more time with grandma when she is bed-ridden in her later years. My argument is that she is "always" sleeping and what is the point of visiting her (by then, I am married and living outside). Actually, a main reason why I got married is to get out of this house.

Now, I am feeling angry with myself. Are I an ungrateful and selfish person? I think I will stop here.

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